Alzheimer’s is not something that is easy for people to understand, for those who experience and for those who care for the afflicted. It is even harder to understand for those who are not frequently exposed to it. This is an article written for those who know caregivers, related or not. Or perhaps for those with relatives or friends with dementia. Praise is often given for a caregiver’s work, but they need so much more than that.

Often, caregivers find themselves isolated from friends and family. This is not healthy. Caregivers statistically have a much higher risk of developing dementia themselves, and of developing depression. The message here is an encouraging one, these effects are not necessarily inevitable, they can be prevented. The friends and family of caregivers can do more than express appreciation, they can provide a listening ear, or offer respite for someone who likely is in need of both.

I meet and talk to caregivers all the time. It is not unusual for them to tell me that as time goes on, and as Alzheimer's worsens, one by one their family and friends fade away. This is understandable -- Alzheimer's is scary and disconcerting. It is hard to accept, hard to understand, and hard to watch as it progresses.

It is not unusual for the friends and family to continue to call and give the caregiver the old 'rah rah siss boom ba" and then they get back their own life. Meanwhile, the caregiver puts their life on hold -- or worse they have no life -- while caring for an Alzheimer's sufferer. Calling and letting the caregiver "vent" is helpful, very helpful, but it is not enough.

Like it or not, if you are a family member or friend of an Alzheimer's caregiver and you are not helping them--you have abandoned them. I am sure this sounds harsh. But, it's not even close to the harshness of your own behavior.

Caregivers need help. A few hours here and there to get away from it all is an important step in improving their lives. Some time to enjoy the world outside their home. Time to re-attach with others.

Read More at Alzheimer’s Reading Room

Traditions Assisted Living in Sherman, Texas.

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